Young mother

I didn’t catch PULS, but I just read the article about the 23 year old medical student who is a mother of 2 and feel that people consider her a failure. I was/is also a young mother and had the same thoughts when I was younger.  Especially when I was strolling the baby around I did get a lot of disapproving looks from people considering me too young to be a mother.

It’s strange. My mother was considered old as a first time mother and needed extra follow- up when she had me. She was 25. When I got pregnant at 21 and my daughter was born on my 22^nd birthday (yes- I haven’t had a birthday in 10 years, but what a fantastic gift!) it was definitely not the norm. None of my friends had kids and it’s only in the last few years some of them (and I emphasize some) have started having kids.

Was our first planned? No, she was not, but the rest of them certainly was. When we first had one, we might as well continue. I had my second child at 25 and my third just before I turned 28. Three fantastic kids and a great partner. He was only 25 when our first was born and was considered an extremely young father (by today’s standards) There was no doubt that a lot of people doubted if we would make it, the odds were against us….

No way!

We had everything, except a degree, our own home and money. However, that’s what matters …strange!

I was studying when I got pregnant and continued during my pregnancy. Why stop? Besides my family life with an increasing number of kids, I had an active student life where I was involved with a lot of volunteer work, I finished my bachelor, a MBA and was into my second MBA when the entrepreneur spirit got the better of me.

I actually became a better student after I had kids. My grades improved and I was elected The Economics student of the year in Norway only a few months after I had my second as I was already way into my studies again. That’s great about being a student mom, but much harder as a working mom. Strange!

To be allowed to be a mom while studying is a fantastic gift. The days are flexible, and the child can grow up with “slow” mornings, long vacations and attentive parents. We didn’t have a strong economy, but do you really need much more than a small student apartment. I would definitely not been without our 5 years at Nattland Student Housing in Bergen. What a great place to live both for adults and children. Paradise!

My life situation was and still in many cases is very different from people my own age. Only half of my graduating class has a family of their own and they still live a “uncomplicated” life. The rest have typically only recently had their first child and are facing some busy years with raising, having and taking care of small kids while many are in the middle of a very important and hectic period in their careers.

It’s nice to think about that I recently could celebrate my first day in 10 years not having to change diapers anymore!!